Filling Your Niche

There is no “there” there

It’s our anniversary today.

I’ve written before about how Dan & I are opposites. One of the ways we’re least alike is that Dan is a total ‘journey is the destination’ kind of guy.

Me, I always thought life was like climbing stairs. Each stair is an obstacle, sure, but then you eventually reach the top. You’re there. You know… there. Despite the years and years of evidence I’ve lived to the contrary, I keep thinking that I will eventually reach somewhere static. And I keep holding that as my primary goal.

I thought marriage was a There. Like I’d arrived; we’d arrived together.The older I get, and particularly since meeting Dan and learning to (mostly) appreciate his roundabout ways, the more it’s sinking in that there *is* no “there.”┬áThe next landing, maybe, if we’re continuing the stair metaphor. But there are always more steps. More landings. Then more steps.

Turns out the last four years haven’t exactly been a staircase.

“Are we there yet?”

Life gets exhausting when you feel like you’re never getting there.

You know… there.

Now, four years in, I can say my marriage to Dan has finally taught me that ups and downs (and upside downs) don’t have to be Sisyphean. They can just be adventures.

Turns out marriage is about the journey, not a destination. The point is moving forward together.

Preferably with laughter.

Maarit • 03/21/2013


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